[rap] In 2006 Marc Ecko made a game about living on the streets as a boy named Trane 11 years later the gang decided to play it and I don’t want to say it but Ecko never shoulda made it [rap] Adam: This is the sign Bruce: Yeah.
Elyse: Universal sign for graffiti Adam: I got my coffee, I paid six dollars for that Elyse: I was ever in graffiti kid, uh were you guys?
Bruce: Yes, I was Elyse *wheezes* Bruce: I was a graffit-o kid Bruce: from eight- Bruce: You ever think maybe your old pal Bruce, every time a Banksy art crops up, Bruce was in that city Bruce: *wheezes* Trane: Grandma used to say gray hair is God’s graffiti Adam: Andy Dick!
Adam: Adam West!? He’s dead! Adam: Wait.
All: Britanny Murphy! Bruce: Charlie Murphy! Giovanni Ribisi! They’re all dead!
Lawrence: Rosario Dawson! Bruce: You notice that it’s not featuring the most famous graffit-o staggs artist, uh Banksy. Bruce: You know why? Because they couldn’t get him. Lawrence: He wasn’t in a new Radio City. Elyse: Is he behind you? Bruce: No, it’s me, Elyse! Have you started tagging it? Lawrence: I’m shimming the pipes bro. Bruce: Use the mouse and keyboard. What are you doing?
Lawrence Hmm nope? Lawrence: That button may not be on this controller-
Bruce: That’s-that’s Pam Lawrence: Jesus Christ Bruce: Oh careful careful.
Elyse: Watch your eyes! Bruce: Oh that’s not good for you.
Adam: That’s why I’m wearing the mask Bruce: Oh smells real good though.
Adam: Oh yeah! Bruce: *coughs* Adam: Now cook some eggs Elyse: I’ve always thought Banksy’s art is kind of shitty Elyse: Like-
Bruce: WHAT!? You trying to say that my art-I mean Banksy’s art is shitty? Adam: Turn off the radio
Bruce: The cops are on you! The helicopter’s on you Trane! Lawrence: Catching me put some sweet moves, check it out.
Elyse: Use the music use the music. Bruce: This is no time to breakdance Trane!
Adam: Watch a cop is up there
Lawrence: Can I-can I spray paint this? Bruce: Why is he break dancing? Bruce: Does he know he’s gonna get arrested? Oh yeah do it right in front of the cops. Yeah perfect. Adam: Also put your phone number there, so they know who did it. Elyse: “Angels” are respected graffiti artists who have died. Bruce: Oooh like Robert. I mean Banksy. I mean Bruce. Adam: *snickers* Elyse: Can I talk to Adam for a second?
Bruce: Yeah absolutely.
Adam: Sure. Elyse: Adam, is Bruce trying to tell us that he is Banksy? Bruce: *whispers to Adam*
Say no. Elyse: The infamous-
Bruce: *still whispers*
Say no. Bruce: *still whispers*
Elyse: -the graffiti artist? Bruce: *still whispers*
Say no. Elyse: When you “bite”, you steal another artist’s ideas Bruce: Aww that slap-tagger bit me! Elyse: I–Banksy kind of like “bites” off of people’s ideas. Bruce: Banksy don’t bite no shit! Lawrence: *laughs and nearly spits*
Bruce: *laughs and wheezes* Bruce: Did you just get caught in a cage, dawg? Lawrence: No I was throwing some Trane’s out here Bruce: Oh look at that!
Elyse: You’ve got stickers?
Bruce: Hello, my name is Trane. Bruce: Boom! Slap tag! Oh you can’t see it, it’s covered by the mic.
Adam: All right Lawrence: Yeah ridin’ it out wyldstyle! Bruce and Elyse: Slap tag! Elyse: Slap tag ya!
Bruce: Boom! Elyse: Why do you have a purse? *Adam laughs* Trane: No!! Bruce: You know what’s really–oh nice Trane. Lawrence: He won’t stop running. Bruce: Yeah you’re gonna die, you’re gonna die!
Lawrence: I am gonna die. Lawrence: Oh my slap tags are gone. I got to put those back up again. *Bruce and Elyse wheezes* Elyse: What Bruce? Your phone- *Bruce and Elyse wheezes* “Banksy”: Yo waddup! This is Banksy. Elyse: Hey Adam, let me get Bruce it on in this conference call. I’ll call Bruce. *Bruce wheezes* “Banksy”: Hold on, Banksy’s getting another call. Elyse: Hang on, I’m calling Bruce “Banksy”: Yo, whaddup? This is Banksy. Elyse: Hey– Elyse: Hang–hang on a min–. Hey Bruce? “Banksy”: No this Banksy dawg.
Elyse: But this is the number that–this is Bruce’s phone number Elyse: Why was–is is Banksy “Banksy”: There must be a uhh, problem with Google Voice Bruce: Lawrence can’t figure out how to play the game.
Lawrence: Uh well… Adam: That’s fine.
Lawrence: …they told me to change colors and stuff but. Adam: It’s gonna smell like Pam in here.
Bruce: Please don’t. Bruce: Oh no.
Lawrence: There it is! Got it. There it is. Adam: I got my–my spray Bruce: What’s that? Elyse: You want a spray battle? Bruce: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
Elyse: Ah! *Elyse coughs* Bruce: *disgusted*
Aw eughh! Bruce: Can you open up the window? Bruce: *still disgusted*
Eughh! Bruce: My hat!
Lawrence: Oh god it smells like baby’s asshole. Bruce: What was that? Lawrence: You can’t touch me, you can’t touch me, look at him. I’m freaking him out. Adam: Yeah.
Bruce: Nice moves Trane! Bruce: Oh missed ya! Lawrence: Oh can’t get me! Can’t get me!
Adam: Oh he’s tryna take away your freedom… Elyse: Oh it’s like capoeira.
Adam: …can’t stop it! Bruce: This is–this is like a, an allegory for…life Lawrence: It is.
Adam: Yeah Lawrence: Just keep rolling and no one can touch you.
Bruce: Look, if you could just Bruce: keep dancing around the authority, they can’t do anything to you Bruce: because… he’s gonna beat the fuck out of you. Elyse: *in Brit accent*
Bruv! Elyse: *switches to South African*
If–if you let this copper get to you. He’s gonna take down all your art, it’s gonna be a massacre Adam: *in South African accent*
Chappie get down! It’s you jackma! Adam: *in accent*
He got a big robot
Bruce: No it’s not South African Elyse: *in accent*
You got to fight him what you thinking Trane? Bruce: Use the bolt cutters. Bruce: Press E when you get there. Lawrence: I–uh, E becomes dodge. Oh, all right. Sure, fine fuck it.
Adam: Sure. Yep. Adam: Did you just circumcise him? Adam: All right.
Bruce: Trane is nutty with the bolt cutters. Lawrence: Yeah. Now you can go. Bruce: Oh shit.
Elyse: Oh god. Adam: Oh no!
Bruce: They picked you back up so they could beat the shit out of you. Lawrence: Damn!
Bruce: Oh they got you! Elyse: *In Brit accent*
You got got bruv. Bruce: *also in Brit accent*
You got got bruv. Lawrence: Everyone gets got get Adam: *In South African accent*
CHAPPIE!! Elyse: I think it’s getting really close to catching Banksy though Elyse: and I–I for one don’t wanna be around to see what happens to him when they get him because I can only imagine like Elyse: you imagine the terrible things that are gonna happen to Banksy when they get him? Adam: Will they let him do like a new gallery in the prison where he’s getting anally raped? Elyse: That, yeah. It’ll probably be that.
Adam: Or it’ll be like art of him. Just getting like rammed. Elyse: Yeah Elyse: He’ll go from being Trane in the game to being-
Adam: Haven’t train run on him yeah. Elyse: If I was Banksy I would just… Bruce: I need to go make a call.
Adam: Uh-huh. Bruce: I’ll be back.
Adam: Okay. Lawrence: Wonder where he’s going? Elyse: Is he just talking to himself? Bruce: Are you doing this right Lawrence?
Lawrence: Yeah this the tutorial. Elyse: Has anyone tried to steal your purse? Lawrence: They’re teaching me how to insult fight. Adam: Yeah, both yeah–both these dudes trying to steal your purse as they touch your dick. Lawrence: Ow.
Bruce: Elyse do you know any other uh…do you know any fighting? Bruce: Fighting like slurs or anything like that? Elyse: What you don’t want to do…is you don’t want to hurt your human paintbrushes. Adam: If you’re in a wheelchair, can you still do tag art? Street art? Bruce: Absolutely you can
Adam: Okay. Adam: But what if I want to get on top of a building? Bruce: Then ya–hopefully they have a ramp Bruce: Oh shit the cops! Cheese it! Elyse: You got to put this up your butt Bruce: SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT, TRANE! Shove it up your butt! Adam: It really hurts to sit Bruce: You guys ever heard of a married couple? Elyse: Are those like two taggers that work together? Bruce: Uh no, its Banksy and his husband Elyse: Oh. okay Elyse: If Banksy’s gay, there’s nothing wrong with that! Bruce: I didn’t say there was anything wrong with that Bruce: I’m just telling you the bank’s you might be gay. Elyse: You’re making Adam really uncomfortable right now. Adam: Well, that’s the can up my ass Bruce: No, a marry a couple is two simultaneous WHOLE cars painted next to each other Bruce: This is a what’s known as the world’s art. It’s a art for the common man… Bruce: …in the final Elyse: Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo Elyse: Fe ye yo yo yo yo yo yo Adam: Yeah, punch his dick! Punch it harder. Bruce: I’m gonna sneeze because of all that Febreze. Elyse: Tag it and bag it. Bruce: Did you hear that? *Adam in pain* Bruce: I’m a lyrical master Elyse: Nothing says loving like something from the oven. Bruce: I think that’s a slogan for Pillsbury. Elyse: Damn straight I love that little popper Hehe eat my dough Lawrence: Yeah fucking legit. Bruce: Don’t fidget spin the mics Elyse: Are those Uggs? Bruce: You bet. All the coolest street artists in world wear Uggs. Adam: Magnetically holding that spray can.
Lawrence: Yeah you can’t quite rig that can to his hand properly Elyse: Hang on, let me Bruce: How do you do that? Adam: I’ll teach you my ways.
Elyse: I think I got it this time I just- Adam: Oh, there you go. Adam: There you go.
Elyse: Here you go. Bruce: Nope doesn’t seem to be working. Adam: Have you ever done that? Bruce: No.
Adam: Here try it. Bruce: Alright I want to try that shit. Adam: Spin it then move it up and down. Bruce: Alright, you got it. Bruce: Fidget spinnin’ straight fidgin’. Lawrence: When you guys have done that thing– Bruce: FIDGIN’ whoa Bruce: That feels–that feels good. Adam: He does look like a West Hollywood hairstylist Lawrence: Yeah, he does Bruce: Trane? Yeah he does. Bruce: Lawrence can you feel that air coming off that fidget spinner? Lawrence: I can yeah, it’s nice. Girl: That’s Futura. Lawrence: The very same? Bruce: OH MY GOSH IT’S BANKSY! Trane: I mean uh, all right, Trane. T-R-A-N-E, Trane. Futura: Hey what’s up? Looks like I’m the first one– Adam: Is that mannequin?
Bruce: …was talking? Elyse: Is he gonna use signature? Lawrence: That’s Futura. Bruce: Is that a graffit-o artist? Lawrence: He’s gettin’ his tag yeah. Adam: Uh oh that’s a weird angle. Lawrence: There’s a lot of cinematic angles in this which is great because the game has about 12 polygons in it. Futura: Collect your tags and maybe you can learn something. Adam: All right Futura that’s a cut! Lawrence: Man that is some celebrity VO right there Bruce: That’s great mocap Futura. Bruce: Hurry up Trane.
Lawrence: I don’t want that. I don’t want those. Adam: Uh-oh
Bruce: You gotta finish up. Elyse: Heating up. Lawrence: Was that it? Got it Bruce: BOOM! Trane, no drips! Lawrence: It’s what they call me
Elyse: In prison Lawrence: Call me no drips.
Bruce: No drips Trane. Lawrence: That’s right, I don’t waste a drop Bruce: Because they make him cum so often you just can’t drip anymore Adam: Or when they ejaculate in his butthole just holds it all in. Adam: That’s a good tight hole. Elyse: And he paints with it ’cause he’s an artist. Bruce: Oh, that’s right.
Adam: He just bends over in front a canvas and farts Adam: Cool. Punch his dick. Lawrence: No he’s dead.
Adam: But like I feel him a little bit every time you do it so it’s not gay. Bruce: Trane, you just killed a man. What are you doing? Lawrence: I don’t know. I’m trying to find the last place I got a tag. There’s a tag somewhere. I got a tag it. Elyse: Use your homeless network! Elyse: Your underground spies Bruce: Hey shoeless Joe where should I go next? [incoherent rah’s] Lawrence: You throw his ass into traffic Bruce: Can you do that? Lawrence: I think so Lawrence: Yep! Bruce: Aw they stop for him. That’s bullshit. Trane you should save it Bruce: Because we’ve been playing for an hour Bruce: And I–
Lawrence: I don’t think you can save in the middle of a mission. Bruce: This wig–this wig really hurts my head Lawrence: Yeah
Adam: Yeah we totally continue this gameplay series next time on whatever this game is. [Rap] Well that’s the end, they’ll never play it again and since they stopped abruptly let’s take a spin at rapping I’m gonna rap Here I go with my rap well my name is Jon Smith and I like candy! [rap]